Sunday, April 21, 2013

I - Eye - Aye

I can blow stuff up with my mind.  It’s true.  

I believe in good and evil.   Humans who are good for the sake of being good.  And humans who create chaos and harm because they enjoy it.   Yes.  I believe in that.  

I have never wanted to die.  Even in my darkest moments.   I have never threatened or attempted suicide.  I never will. 

Compared to the things I am proud of, I have very few regrets.  Or maybe I have none.  I haven’t yet decided.  

I have never lost hope completely.  

I have, however, felt helpless plenty of times.  

I’m pretty sure I am addicted to dopamine.  

For the past 2 years, I have developed this terrible habit of ripping the skin off my lips with tweezers.  I used to just bite the shit out of them.  But tweezers are so much more accurate.  It makes people uncomfortable to watch me.  

If I dream about people I know, they are NEVER good dreams.  In my good dreams, everyone is an invented character who can change physically or psychologically at the whim of my desires.  

If I dream about physically fighting with someone, my movements are always in slow motion.  

I don’t care how many times I type it (which is almost daily because of my job), I still cannot spell silhouette right the first time.  Yet I can pound out nephroureterolithiasis without skipping a beat. Go figure. 

I have serious doubts that Albert DeSalvo was really the Boston Strangler.  I don’t know why.  I’ve never been able to put my finger on it.  

I fear emotional pain exponentially more than I fear physical pain.  Matter of fact, if given the choice, I’d choose physical every time.  

I have serious problems with women who use chemicals or unnatural processes for the sake of vanity.  That includes makeup, crap they put in their hair, manicures/pedicures/nail polish in general, tanning, waxing, perfume, hair dryers, curling irons, plastic surgery, blah, blah, blah.  I know I just ruled out 95% of the female population of this planet.  And I’m good with that.  

I leave cobwebs in my house because I think they look cool.  

My tummy hurts right now.  Like, a lot.  

Did I mention that I can blow stuff up with my mind?  

I can.  Oh.  I can. 


  1. I need you to run a vanity boot camp over here.

    1. I'd set 'em all straight! Teach them how to cut their own hair. Throw all the hairbrushes in the trash because nothing is the world is better than fingers through wet hair. Need to dry your hair? Run a couple miles. Drive to the grocery store with the windows down. Makeup? On hell no! Some neutrogena soap a couple times a day and nix the shitty shit from your diet. Chicks really don't get it. Beauty has nothing to do with the crap you gunk on your body. Beauty is confidence, kindness, and perfecting the wink and lip-slide across the teeth ;-)

  2. Likewise. I've had some dark times, but I've never wished I was dead or thought of "ending" it. I've known one or two people who have said (sometimes jokingly, sometimes not) that they wished they were dead during a difficult time. As much as I feel like I should pity someone who does think like that, I can't help but think of them as being cowards.

    1. I agree. Completely. Cowardly and selfish. Lazy and ignorant. Pathetic and cruel. I will never understand it.

  3. Cobwebs give a room character. And you are neat!

    Also, your words come out in fascinating and compelling arrangements.