Friday, August 17, 2012

The Closer

He smiled in horror.  “What’s your name, sweetheart?” 

My lips met to forge the consonant of used-to-be, but tasted only blood- the afterbirth cradling my soul’s dead reckoning.   

“Today, my name is Anna.” 
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Trifextra Week Twenty-Nine:
Last month we asked you to give us a killer opening line in exactly 33 words.  This week we're asking for an equally amazing closing line.  It can be the ending to the story you began in the previous challenge or a completely different ending altogether.  Just make sure it's exactly 33 words.
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11 comments:

  1. What a muscular ending. The last line is sneering and poignant.

    awesome work

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  2. And now I want to read the rest of the story to find out what has caused his horror.

    "the consonant of used-to-be" ... This blows my mind.

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  3. Fascinating contrdiction in the first line, "He smiled in horror." I think something bad happened and it's going to happen again. Great ending. Or the beginning of a new story?

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  4. Holy cow. This made my stomach drop. Very strong ending, as well as a solid opening for a sequel.

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  5. I'd agree with Mags that this last line leads to a possible sequel. I'm kinda creeped out and nervous. That's a good feeling!

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  6. That smiling in horror bit caught my attention. I think this would be a great opening line, as well. It certainly captured my curiosity.

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  7. That's a great closer and would also be a great beginning! I love the way that works! :D

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  8. Thanks for linking up with Trifextra this weekend. The last line of this was super creepy and very well crafted. Great job freaking us out!

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