Sunday, May 13, 2012

Unawares


I felt it as a tickle.  A buzz.  Just in my toes.  The consciousness of a soul-hiccup rising.  The awareness of a flame I had lost.  Not lost.  Never lost.  Subdued.  

I forgot myself.  Hardened myself against the mortality of my wants.  Unsure if I deserved them.  Self-loathing is a parasite.

They stare.  They all stare.  Even now.  I feel their eyes.  Waiting for something.  To watch me fall.  Slide face-first through the dirt.  I hope it's cool dirt.  Miracle Grow dirt.  That's the best.  It smells good.

They watch.  Even now.  I stand on stage; sweat from the hot lights rolls down my neck.  I can't see them there in the audience.  But I hear gasps when I write a word they know.  When I poke their belly-buttons and make 'em giggle.  When I put my mouth on their chests and catch a nipple between my teeth.

Those things.  Those little things.  The ones that make you think.  Make you melt between the warped boards of an old pier teetering on the brink of crumble.  I'm not a lake, you know.  I don't ripple and sway with my shushing finger on my lips.  Waiting to catch the melting. 

The stares.  The waiting look.  The lurching irises.  The swollen pupils.  The lids flipped inside out like a 12-year-old boy sitting in the back of English class poking the pretty girl with his pencil to get her attention.

I punched that little motherfucker in the face, you know. 
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8 comments:

  1. haha love that last line....it caught me off guard and i laughed out loud...self loathing is a parasite as well, that is for sure...

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  2. I'm with the B'Man on this! Love it. Sorry, I hate the lame "love this post" comment, but yeah.. what can I say, I love this post! ;)

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  3. How come this magpie brought out so many pugilistic feelings?!

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  4. I went with the first thing I noticed. Which was the boys both staring at the girl in the middle. That was it. I stopped myself from going into any more depth than that and just wrote.

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  5. The last line really packs it! I picked up on the 'stare' too but considered her a boy with long hair for my 'pie!

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  6. Excellent Evocation, Delta Echo Mike !

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  7. Oh yes, the ones that make you think! As does this lovely piece! Very nice!

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