Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I ain't got no toes

Her name was Matilda.  And she et my toes.  Put 'em right in her stew pot and et 'em.  Now I ain't got no toes.  Not quite sure how I'm gonna get along, but I'll manage.  Oh, Matilda.  Momma said she was a witch.  but I didn't believe her.

It was her blue bus that sucked me in.  Down by the creek, about a half a mile that way.  She'd been set up there for years, as long as my recollection could stretch.  Which wasn't very far.  I was supposed to be in school.  But most days.  Well.  Most days, I was at the creek.  I'd found the perfect spot to sit a spell, up an oak with perfect sights to her bus.  I'd watch her.  The bus didn't have no tires on it.  And the wheels were all rusty and buried half in the dirt.  But it seemed like that sucker rocked like the Foursquare Gospel on Sunday every time she moved.  Her pots-n-pans windchime was a god awful sound.  She'd sing songs bout God redeemin somethin... always praisin and redeemin and hallelujah and take-me-home-Jesus!

I just watched.  Every once or so, a couple of boys would run by, tossin rocks and hollerin something bout "Tilda don't brush! Tilda don't floss! Tilda et a baby with barbecue sauce!

Ain't nobody really believe she et babies, but that was the story anyhow.  

But she sure as monkeys didn't brush or floss.  And her hair ain't seen a hairbrush since her mamma pushed her out.  Leastways, that's what it looked like.  As wild as the day is long, like my daddy's duck huntin dog.  He called him Duck Huntin Dog.  Like, "Where's my goddamn duck huntin dog run off to? Wastin my goddamn time...." then he'd just grumble through swigs of beer.  

As much as my daddy liked to say 'goddamn,' Tilda liked to say, 'praise Jesus!'

She was singin bout praisin Jesus the day she caught sight of me peekin at her.

She said, "I see you up there!  C'mon down now.  Tilda don't hurt nobody.  C'mon and tell me your name, l'il skunk!"

Three years I'd been skippin school to spy on Tilda the baby-ettin witch and ain't never caught her eye.  I sure as monkeys done caught her eye now.

Tilda don't hurt nobody.  That's what she said, aight.  

I tell ya.  Don't believe folks when they tell you they ain't out to hurt nobody.  Thems the very folks that was put here just special-like to hurt.  

She sang them boys' song while she cut.  I screamed and screamed like them pigs down back of the butcher shop.  Screamed my little curly-headed face right off.  Ain't nobody heard me.  

She sang and sang... "Tilda don't brush!  Tilda don't floss!  Tilda et a baby with barbecue sauce!" 

She laughed and laughed.  

Tossed my 10 l'il toes right in her pot with some salt and onions with the skin still on.

She ripped an old pillowcase to wrap my feet.  Tossed me down her milk crate steps into the dirt.  Told me I had til the sun went down to get outta her woods or she'd keep goin up my leg till I ain't got no legs.  

Yep.  That was Matilda.  

Momma and daddy just said that's what I get for peepin at folks.

Not sure how I'm gonna get along.

But I'll manage.

Always do.

Trifecta Weekly Challenge- Wild
3: a (1): not subject to restraint or regulation : uncontrolled; also : unruly 
      (2) : emotionally overcome <wild with grief>; also : passionately eager or enthusiastic

Studio 30+ prompt- Her name was Matilda



  1. Really? Nobody cared about what Matilda did? Even the parents? Yikes!

  2. Sure, they were about as concerned as the Department of Social Services was about Cinderella's welfare. Why wasn't she is school anyway? I bet she didn't even have all her vaccines!

  3. Yowza! That's quite a rural fairy tale -- the old school kind, where stuff like kids' toes getting cut off really happens. Matilda singing was a nice touch.

  4. wow...i wonder if all communities had those people...this one got a little more real and i bet it will keep the kids in the bed at night too...ha...

  5. I am glad I don't know Matilda...or that poor child's parents!

    Nice job with the dialogue and folksy language. Really set the tone of the piece

  6. At least she had the decency to wrap her feet in a pillowcase... This was cool writing, loved the accent it forced me to read it in, made me feel all sorts of different!

  7. she et his toes - oh, this is some good writin!

  8. From the very first sentences, you drew me in to the wild and fanciful world of Matilda. Your ability to maintain the vernacular throughout the piece was impressive.
    Thanks for playing. Come back for the new prompt tomorrow, please?

  9. ohh this is right up my alley. I love the flavor here with the accent and the "legend of Matilda" status, even the song. Wow.