Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Creek of Consciousness

How many flowers would there be if we put flowers in the spots where every person dies?  Lots and lots, I am sure.

The spot.  The one I talk about here Undones.   Now has flowers beside it.  I cannot imagine.  Not even a little.  What it would be like to live two houses down from a blood stain on the road that marks the place where someone I loved died.  Can't they pressure wash it?  Or do they want to?  It is just so... bizarre to me.  That spot.  In my mind.  I think it has taken on a life of its own.  Am I anthropomorphizing a blood stain?  Is that what is happening?  

I know that instead of working right now, I am writing about it.  I know that I ran around it today, gave it a pretty wide berth, actually.  

I smiled on purpose.  I do that sometimes.  You know, when you find yourself with an inadvertent scowl, or maybe you are wincing or tensing your muscles, and you suddenly become aware that you are doing it.  And it is kind of confusing because you know you don't feel that way.  The scowl or the tensing or wincing is not properly reflecting your countenance, when inside you are not upset or off-put or straining your thoughts.  So, you smile on purpose.  Because it better reflects who you really are.  

That is what I did as I passed the spot.  I smiled on purpose.  I do it a lot.  

Heart's Crazy On You had just started playing.  

I realized something else yesterday.  Something I'd never given much thought.  

I like Metallica.  But that isn't the strange thing.  The strange thing is that I always have.  But I never knew it until yesterday.  You go through life hearing certain songs.  And you say, "Yes, I like that song."  I like Nothing Else Matters.  I like For Whom The Bell Tolls.  I like Master of Puppets and One and Enter Sandman and The Unforgiven and The Judas Kiss.  

AND HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED...... I used the phrase "Judas kiss" in something a wrote years and years ago..... goddamnitalltohell....

Anyway.  I hear all these songs.  And I say, "Yes.  I like that song."  But if someone asked me, "Do you like Metallica?" 

I would invariably say, "No."  Of course not!  I like more pretentious hipster cool ....uhhh.... different stuff.  You know.  The Black Keys.  Yeah.  R.E.M.  Shut up!  You know, Dinosaur, Jr.  Sonic Youth.  JOAN MUTHUFAWKIN' JETT, BITCHES!

And They Might Be Giants.  Because if you aren't hopelessly in love with The Johns, you pretty much suck.   If my kids hadn't been with me a couple years ago, I'da thrown my bra at 'em.

Even though, I don't think I said "No" on purpose, just out of habit, you know? 


Yes.  I like Metallica.  And I think their cover of Turn The Page KICKS MAJOR ASS.  

And that is all I have to say about that.  



  1. The other night we were walking down a street (we do that a lot) and heard really loud music coming from an unknown source (that happens a lot) so we wondered if it was just a pharmacy or a water filter store trying to draw in customers (they do that all the time here) and finally followed the music (what can i say we're dreamers) and it came from a bar blasting a live concert of AD-DC. And when I say loud, I'm talking motherfuckingivemeearplugskindaloud. Ya know? AC-DC. A recent concert taped somewhere in Mexico. There must have been at least 500,000 people jammed in there.

    As I sat watched and listened and drank I told Leo "I'm glad they're playing their old stuff we grew up with" and told him about the time when I saw Supertramp live in 2003 but they only played their new stuff that noboby knew or cared for.

    I sat there, and sang along. Actually caught myself clapping at the end of songs as if it was live in front of me.

    And then it hit me: "I like AC-DC"

    p.s. I knew there was a point to my comment and it had something to do with your post!

    1. My youngest boy LOVES AC/DC. It makes me quite proud that both of them have taste in music that extends so far outside of their own generation.

  2. Holy crap, your totally prettyawesomegoddamncool (lol, i made that up) .. but you mentioned dinosaur jr AND sonic youth, you are the bomb, two great bands .. not enough credit given

    1. And then there's Social Distortion, Fugazi, Violent Femmes, The Breeders, The Pixies, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Dead Kennedy's, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Rage Against the Machine (of course!), Ministry, Primus, Filter, The Dead Milkman.... sigh.... that's where it's at, man... that's where life gets really fucking juicy.

  3. metallica rocks....saw them years ago as well...turn the page is a great cover by them....the black album is my fav...and the one they did with the symphony right behind it...

  4. Ahhhhhh, Metallica............. You know how couples have a song? Ya, that one is ours. {Nothing Else Matters} Even 20 years later, the memories that one brings............... :D