Saturday, April 7, 2012

Bad Mommy

Being a rather young mother of older teenage boys can get a bit….

hmmm….

….awkward.

Especially when your older teenage sons have…

hmmm….

….older teenage friends.

You see, I’m a rather….

hmmm….

…..different kind of momma.

Aside from retirement investments, there is nothing about me that remotely suggests I’m old enough to have 15 or 17-year-old young men. I’m the size of an 8 year old. With the fashion sense of a 13-year-old, the hair of a 5-year-old terrified of hair brushes, and the libido of an 18-year-old boy.

Which is why I find it rather…..

interesting...

...when little Devon rings my doorbell looking for Jake.

Little Devon was 5 when we moved in.

Little Devon is now 17 and built like a linebacker. With his jet black hair and Filipino complexion.

Little Devon.

Indeed.

I avert my eyes and pray my cacophony of pheromones doesn’t blast him clear off my front porch.

Then there is sweet Jacob. Jacob plays drums. He’s 20 and waiting for his Air Force basic training to start. Jacob rings my doorbell, too. Runs upstairs with my Jake to play Led Zeppelin and Green Day. Sometimes, sweet Jacob comes over with his shirt off. Five o’clock shadow. Beach bum kinda shorts and flip-flops. Axe soap and body spray wafting through my front door. I cross my fingers and hope I don’t look like a cougar at a meat market.

I was born to be the mother of boys. I know them. I enjoy things they enjoy and see the world through their eyes. I love loud, angry music. I appreciate a smoking hot female body when I see one. I catch and play with spiders, insects, and worms. I laugh at the word “vagina” and love a great “yo momma” joke.

But oh, sweet pubescent Jesus! I really wish someone had told me that those little boys ringing my doorbell and eating my cookies would one day turn into eye candy melting on my front porch.
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Trifextra Week Eleven:

The challenge is to write a response that is between 33 and 333 words long and uses the words listed below.  Use the words however you wish, but make sure that all three appear in your response.  Oh, and they must appear in order.
  1. cacophony
  2. soap
  3. insects

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8 comments:

  1. phew! Feeling my own pheromones arisin'

    looking is one thing . . . acting is another (5-10)
    :)

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  2. I have that same reaction but with the sons of my friends! bahahaha

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  3. I love the picture of her as this tiny predator. Her son's friends have no idea what lies in store for them!

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  4. I love the picture of her as this tiny predator. Her son's friends have no idea what lies in store for them!

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  5. There has to be some reward for raising teenagers. Eye candy qualifies.

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  6. Thanks for linking up this weekend. We hope you can come back for the weekday challenge too. Remember to check out our Facebook and Twitter pages for news on what's happening on the site.

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  7. Bad Mommy, indeed. Watch out! Nicely, nicely done.

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