Saturday, February 4, 2012

Trifecta-Thirsty

My first time trying Trifecta. This week, it's a story in three sentences, a la Hemingway-esque baby shoes flash fiction. And here we go!

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Her hand steadied against its weight, finger firm, shallow breaths.
There was a certain satisfaction in the cool steel pressed against her temple.
"Momma, I'm thirsty."

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12 comments:

  1. ooooh - mysterious - saved by a child.

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  2. I can only think it was a gun, though I need to know if I'm wrong. Either way, I'm so glad she was interrupted. Anxiety-inducingly good.
    Came from the Trifecta link.

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  3. excellent

    those whon will read your writing for the first time will be suprised at the cool steel and the reveal. I'm not. Brutally good.

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  4. In the movie version it's like the camera would zoom out to reveal the child. Nice work.

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  5. Leaves a lot of room for interpretation but the gun image is there in my mind, too.

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  6. I'm getting a chilling feeling. So happy someone spoke up. Fantastic. Over from Trifecta link.

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  7. well done.. and the powerful emotion, the determination comes through right before the twist. what a scene in 3 sentences!

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  8. Sleek! It *does* make me wonder what the next few weeks look like.

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  9. Oh, and what to say to her little Cindy-Lou Who. And will she return to the cool and the weight, or will it be enough to get her child a cold drink of water.

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  10. Thanks for joining up for this weekend's challenge. I love the suspense in this one. But I'm intrigued...is this the end of the story or is there more to come? Is the child's intervention final? Great write. Hope you join us for the weekday challenge.

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