Friday, February 10, 2012

Trifecta- The Game

I had so much fun last week, I decided to play again. A love scene, no less than 33 words and no more than 333, without using any of the words on a list of 33 common/cliche lovey boo-boo kissy words. I accept the challenge. And again, here we go!

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She glanced up just in time. She always knew, somehow she just did. Always knew when his eyes were on her, even from across a crowded room.  It was a feeling just behind her ear, a bit of a tickle just there, so very slight. His eyes would move across her body as the hands of a potter at his wheel, following her every curve, tracing her mouth, down a shoulder, and the other. He’d studied her for so long that by now, he could sing her into existence to a blind man. His fingers had brushed every inch of her. His tongue knew X marked the spot. And the magic in his hands could raze her flimsy defenses with such a fury that the air itself felt wild and zealous. On this day, at this moment, a tiny wrinkle of time seemed to slow and whirl about them as the nascent sizzle behind her ear awoke to his attention. The tiny curl at the corner of his mouth told her everything she needed to know, and she returned his coy smile with one of her own, lightly flipped her ponytail off her shoulder and shot a wink straight through his jeans.  He mumbled a low growl and shifted his weight in the chair.  It was far beyond his mere human ken to fathom how this diminutive fay always seemed to play him like a panpipe with naught but a flick of an eyelid.  He snickered behind a smile to hide his awkward position.  She slid her tongue across her teeth in a flash of victory and satisfaction.  Works every time.

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13 comments:

  1. nicely done! tricky to not use the verboten words, huh?

    best,
    MOV

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  2. Nice job! I got a bit caught up in the punctuation/fragment in the first three sentences, but after that it was great. I like this part "the tiny curl at the corner of his mouth told her everything she needed to know"...

    I don't think I could write something this punchy in such a short space, very nice!

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  3. If you stick around, you will get used to my fragmentia and grammophrenia. My inside voice tends to piss on my outside voice when it catches on fire. It's a blessing and a curse.

    But thank you for your kind words.

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  4. he could sing her into existence to a blind man . . .

    whew! Is it hot in here, or just me? :) lovely (and HOT!)

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  5. Very sexy, seductive, and provocative.

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  6. "shot a wink straight through his jeans"

    Brilliance.

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  7. I had a bit of trouble with the fragmented sentences and odd punctuation but the essence is there and it's romance novel, heavy breathing worthy :)

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  8. My favorite part was "he could sing her into existence to a blind man." Nice.

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  9. "that the air itself felt wild and zealous" -- that was my favorite part. I also loved that she initially seemed to feel powerless but was, in fact, the one in control.

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  10. I loved how this turned around.

    this: "The tiny curl at the corner of his mouth told her everything she needed to know, and she returned his coy smile with one of her own, lightly flipped her ponytail off her shoulder and shot a wink straight through his jeans."

    wow.

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  11. Thanks so much for linking up this weekend. Remember, this weekend’s entries are being judged by the Trifecta community so make sure you visit the site to register your vote! Hope you can join us for Monday’s prompt!

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